Let’s face it: the phrase “self-care” makes most neurodivergent parents roll their eyes so hard they see yesterday’s to-do list. Self-care? Who has the time? The energy? The executive function? Sure, Pinterest makes it look like bubble baths and yoga retreats, but for us, it’s more like, “Did I brush my teeth today?”
Still, in the spirit of self-love—or at least self-toleration—here’s a parody guide to “self-care” for those of us who think “free time” is a mythical creature like a unicorn or a toddler who eats vegetables.
Step 1: Hydrate (With Coffee, Obviously)
Water is great and all, but let’s be real—coffee fuels the neurodivergent parent engine. Bonus points if you get to finish it while it’s still hot. Extra bonus points if you don’t forget where you put it down.
Pro Tip: Buy a thermal mug. Not for style, but for survival.
Step 2: “Alone Time” (A.K.A. Hiding in the Bathroom)
The bathroom is the neurodivergent parent’s fortress of solitude. Is it glamorous? Nope. But it’s the only place where you can lock the door and pretend you’re taking care of “important business.”
Pro Tip: Keep snacks in the bathroom drawer. You deserve that granola bar.
Step 3: Say No (To Yourself)
Self-care isn’t just about adding; it’s about subtracting. For instance:
No, you don’t need to alphabetize the spices.
No, you don’t need to reorganize the LEGOs by color.
No, you don’t need to guilt yourself for not being a “Pinterest Parent.”
Sometimes, the best care you can give yourself is permission to let things be messy.
Step 4: Redefine “Me Time”
Forget spa days. For neurodivergent parents, “me time” might look like:
Listening to true crime podcasts while folding laundry.
Playing video games after the kids go to bed.
Dancing in the kitchen to 2000s throwbacks while microwaving chicken nuggets.
Self-care doesn’t have to be Insta-worthy—it just has to feel good for you.
Step 5: Celebrate the Small Wins
Did you remember to eat lunch? Gold star.
Did you manage to keep a houseplant alive for another week? Medal-worthy.
Did you avoid a full-scale meltdown during bedtime? Someone call the Nobel committee.
Celebrate every tiny victory because, let’s face it, parenting is hard, and you’re crushing it (even if it doesn’t always feel like it).
Final Thoughts: The Real Goal of “Self-Care”
At the end of the day, self-care isn’t about being perfect—it’s about survival with a side of joy. It’s not about “treating yourself” as much as it is not losing yourself.
So here’s the secret: If you’re doing your best to care for your family, you’re already doing enough. The rest? That’s just extra credit.
Ready to embrace your perfectly imperfect parenting journey? Call or text 614-470-4466, email admin@achievepsychology.org, or visit www.achievepsychology.org to connect with resources and support tailored for neurodivergent families.
Works Cited
None—just lived experience, coffee, and the wisdom of every frazzled parent who’s been there.
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